I am feeling down but I wanted to write. I had a blessed Christmas dwelling upon the birth of Jesus. It was bittersweet. I say bittersweet because while it was nice, I am quite a ways from my family and this is the 3rd Christmas that I have not seen them. But I asked God to help me focus on blessings and most of all, Jesus. It is about Him…not me. He must increase, I must decrease.

So today I feel down. My twin’s cat died on the 19th right before Christmas. My Klonopin taper is kinda blah but I have found Valerian Root to help. Basically I am doing it where I take 1 pill instead of 2 for a couple to few days then take 2 for a day, then take 1 for a couple to few days. It really depends on how I can handle it.

Then my hormones are kicking in and since I have PMDD and then other issues… I feel a mess. I miss my family but honestly, I don’t really know if they even miss me. I don’t want to waste time dwelling on sadness yet somehow I become engulfed in it.

I finally went to Biblegateway for the verse of the day to make my Polyvore and it was very fitting. ( I will post that art in just a moment). It was Matthew 11:28.

I guess with that being said… I cry out to the Lord. This is not our permanent home. Feelings are fleeting and so are hormones. And hopefully somehow the car can be okay unless we rent one..and we can have the means to see family. But until then there is Jesus, the hubs, cats, and church.

God’s will be done…not mine. Sorry to anyone who may actually read this if it is jumbled. I feel down and I also just took some Valerian Root extract which I have to say once it kicks in is such a natural blessing and Godsend.

God bless everyone and may you all have a wonderful 2017.


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